Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I need change, I want change, I welcome change!

I took a break from blogging for the last couple of weeks because honestly I am exhausted. 
Working two jobs ain’t no joke!  I wanted to refocus some of my energy and time on someone that is in need of some T.L.C. ....ME! In the last 14days, I have selfishly indulged in relaxing and living in the moment.  What kinds of things?? I did my own nails(2x), took a long shower, listened and sang to NKOTB(loudly), cooked, slept in over the weekends (an extra hour can do wonders), spent an entire evening cleaning my room, watched a movie (Crazy Heart), walked down Michigan Ave. with coworkers, sent a care package to my lil’ sis, bought a mother’s day gift for dear old moms, went out with friends to see a fight--laughed so much, attended a graduation and tried to organize my life a bit! It has all been wonderful and I know I have to do more things on a daily basis rather than taking a “time-out” from life. The "time-out " has brought much needed balance to my life.

One of my favorite pampering habits has to be: lotioning up after a shower. Anyone agree? Honestly, I rarely do it considering that I am busy most nights and barely shower…jk…TMI?!

Another reason why I felt I needed to focus more on myself had to do with my current emotional state—I am sad, disappointed and grieving a plan that was not to be.  I wanted to quit my full time job and go out of state for graduate school.  Unfortunately, with the decision letters I received that will not be happening in the timeline I planned and hoped for (this fall).  Now I am left with no plan, a sense of loss and questioning whether I wasted my time/energy/money  for nothing.

Instead of packing up my belongings and looking forward to my future I am left in the same place asking myself:  If not graduate school, then what? And when?
I was  am ready for a change in my life.  Change has definitely been a constant this year (sometimes welcomed--most of the time not) but I know there are MANY more changes to come in the next couple of months.  I need to be open to change and embrace it rather than try to control it and dictate it.  There are some changes that are just outside of my control and why do I think I can control these changes?

My new change mantra is: I need change, I want change, I welcome change!

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed this post Idalia. Great mantra! I'm glad you're being active about searching the change you are ready for.