Monday, March 30, 2009

Hard times!!!

When I first left class on Wednesday (3/18) I felt very enthused and ready to start thinking and doing some self-reflection about what I have to bring to the table as it pertains to my experience and the message I would like to share with young Latinas. My firsts step would be to think about my message. What is it that I want young girls/women to know? How will my story guide my message? Should I share my personal story or just create a message? The ideas were all scrambling in my head. Unfortunately, the day after I suffered a great loss and needed to leave the country. My aunt was on vacation in Chupicuaro, Michocan-Mexico and fell ill. She passed away very quickly. Needless to say this assignment along with so many other things took a far back seat to what my family and I were going through. It has been a tough couple of weeks and I am not sure when the pain will start fading or when life will feel normal again. In my eight days over there, I would often wonder about this assignment and try to think about my message but then the pain would slowly creep in and then overwhelm me. What was the point of doing this assignment? Nothing made sense anymore and this assignment made even less.

I did not want to come back home. Coming home would make this experience too real but here I am. My aunt struggled through life, she fought and she loved but more importantly, she believed in us (my siblings). My aunt would often greet you with a big hug and was a huge supporter of whatever you were doing. I find it difficult to fathom living life without her and knowing that my “safety net” is no longer. She has six great kids, ten grandkids and she still found room for my family plus many more people in her life. I would like to motivate and support other young girls to achieve their dreams.

I have often asked many people, how do you know your story is worth telling?

After this event in my life I know that MY story is worth telling because I honor those who came before me and will come after me. My aunt along with so many other people is intertwined in my story. I owe it to myself to be the best I can be and create the life that I want no matter how scared I may be.

Our parents often strive so hard to provide us with opportunities that will create a better life than they had. I will miss my aunt very much but will always hold her in my heart and remember her smile, compassion and selflessness she had for us (siblings).

1 comment:

  1. Idalia,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your aunt sounds like a truly wonderful, generous and loving person. I hope that you will be patient with yourself during this difficult time. Dr. Rock